10. You
The first on the list is YOU, yes YOU! You are a douchebag for wanting to read about which douchebags I would be listing and talking about. This quality in fact makes you a rather large douchebag but you are only number ten on the list.
9. The websites, bloggers and tweeters that create end of the year lists
Just ahead of you in the leaders of douchebaggery are all the writers that feel it necessary to create a bullshit list hoping that people actually care about what they have to say. I know people will read this and not care; which does not bother me. but number nine on the list is the group of bloggers and tweeters that create this bogus lists in all seriousness.
8. SmoothC (twitter)
This guy may take it as an honor being number eight on my list. The reason he is number eight is this guy thinks of himself as a great sneaker reseller, yet he doesn't know anything about sneakers and would sell his family for a good spot at a campout. The reason I put him on this list because on numerous occasions I asked this guy via text how much for a sneaker and then minutes later he tweets a lower price. I know I am an asshole but really why are you trying to charge me more than some Joe Blow on the Internet.
7. MXKid912 (twitter)
Alright so many of you may not know who this kid is since he only has 100 followers on twitter(half of which are spambots for gay porn sites), but this guy might be the biggest douchebag on tinychat. So we go to tinychat to bullshit about kicks, cast-iron cookware, you know the normal everyday sneakerhead bullshit. While this kid has the highest level of douchebagginess known to the whole tinychat sneakerhead community. Well back to MXKid912, this kid bans me from tinychat at least 93 times every time I am in there, he may have legit reasons but it is just a new level of douchebaggity out there. Now to add on this douche nozzle is texting me bothering me on purpose to distract me from finishing up this post.
6. EDITED DUE TO CENSORSHIP!
5. DJ Delz (twitter)
Yes I put twitter next to him name because he is not "famous" and no one has ever heard of him really. I can call myself DJ Lyricistfan but that does not make me a DJ or famous. So anyone there are way too many reasons to list why this assclown is a douchebag. Just know that if you are semi-famous this guy will try to snag the most homoreffic picture with you just to try and get himself some street cred. Last I heard he was blowing oscar the grouch because oscar told him he could DJ the next trashcan sale.
4. LeBron James
Yes Mr. LBJ himself made the list and probably not for the reasons you are thinking. I don't care if he goes to Miami, nails a tranny and gets a life long STD. The reason he is a douchebag is for doing an one hour special about his "decision", and also for that queer ass facial hair. Really dude, only homo thugs and you have a facial hair lineup like that. No wonder West was smashing your mom, he was trying to get you in the sack for the oh so sacred mother/daughter 3-way.
3. The LeBron Haters
Every single person that hates on LeBron is like the Darth Mal of douchebags. You are not as bad ass as Vader and you have some cool new light saber but you end up getting cut in half in the end. Why are you hating on someone that has no effect on your personal being? Him going to Miami did not take food off your table, hell if you are hating on him this much you probably can't even afford to put food on the table anyway. But in all seriousness why are you hating on what someone does with their life? I did not hate John from the financial department when he said he had to quit the corporate softball team because he was moving to Nogales, Arizona to become a coyote to get the rest of his family across the border. I welcomed it with open arms and told him if he needs help I will be there as long as the money and drugs are right.
2. Kanye West
Of course this guy had to make the list. Any cornball that jumps on stages while an 18 year old girl is accepting an award is an asshole. But this guy had the map from Water World shaved into his head during the event too. Did we need to piss in a coffee maker and drink the purified urine to be cool Mr. West? but that moment has nothing to do with this years tops douchebags. this guy made a song about a toast to the douchebags. All I know is I would never put toast near a douchebag unless it was Taylor Swifts douchebag then I wouldn't mind. Now this guy makes this song and then creates and short film involving women dressed up as birds and other random shit that is supposed to be a music video. I would rather watch that sex tape with that wrestler chick that hate the clit the size of a small wiener and that was disgusting. Mr. West I did enjoy your older music before your head was the size of South Africa, now you are just an all around douchebag.
1. me aka lyricistfan
Yup that's right, I am putting myself as the number one spot on my list. You have to be a huge douchebag to create a list of the top 10 douchebags of 2010. You have to be an even bigger douchebag to even put yourself at number one. I never shut up and I always speak my mind, I know I am an asshole but I don't care. This list will piss some people off but you know what they are just mad they did not get the number one spot. I did, yes that's right lyricist 'muthafuckin' fan got the number one spot. Maybe next year you can take the crown from me, but I doubt it since I will probably write that one too and since I am writing it I will put myself as number one next year too.
Now I want to thank you all for taking the time out of your busy porn watching duties and reading this post I created. Now please share this with your friends, co-workers, hookers, sex slaves, neighbors, teachers, principals and anyone else you can think of.
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